


I didn't pick(nic) this

by idioticfangirl



Series: The Avengers Team-Building Shenanigans [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, M/M, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Stony - Freeform, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Feels, Teambuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:52:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4138284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since it's a nice day, and Steve is a boyscout at heart, the team go on a picnic, with unsurprisingly disastrous consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I didn't pick(nic) this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilbug_dancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilbug_dancer/gifts).



> I'm so sorry this took so long to do

By this point, the team was much stronger than it had been to begin with. Whether the team building was actually working, or whether it was just getting more used to each other's fighting styles, they didn't know, but something was definitely affecting how they acted around each other. Whilst Steve and Tony had stopped dancing around each other, Pietro and Peter had begun to, in that way that made everyone sure that they would end up together but thankfully without the love-hate relationship that Captain America and Iron Man had had. There was some consternation that the way most of the team was pairing off with each other would cause isolation between the couples, but mutual dependency on each other to live on a daily basis does wonders for trust in each other.

If anyone hoped that this meant that Fury would stop the team exercises, however, they were dead wrong. Usually they were without warning and sure to be hated by at least one member of the team, most frequently Vision or Tony.

Sometimes, though, the terrible decisions weren't made by Fury. There were some team plans that were a fault of someone else. Take Captain America, for example. When he declared to everyone as they watched a movie that it was lovely weather, they all agreed and thought nothing of it. When he went on to say, "I think we should go to a picnic tomorrow," Clint fell out of his chair, at least half of the group groaned, and only Bucky and Sam looked excited at the prospect of facing off with nature once more. Those two people seemed to be enough, because the next day saw Steve cutting sandwiches into little triangles as he packed a picnic basket - and where had he even found a picnic basket in the Avengers Tower? - and ushering everyone out of the tower for a trip to the nearest field. 

A few hours later, the nearest field that wasn't occupied by cows had been discovered, and Steve set about laying out a picnic blanket. Driving around for hours didn't really make anyone hungry, so first he produced a ball from the basket, which was seeming more and more like Mary Poppins' bag by the minute, to play a game which was a strange mixture of football, rugby and dodgeball. It mainly involved dodgeball because anyone near the ball got tackled, so it was safer to stay out of the way. Tony called it 'Anything is Legal', because whatever rules may once have been stated were long forgotten. The game could go on for hours, since it changed so much that no-one could get bored of it because, once they got the ball, they could just play whatever game they wanted to play. This inevitably ended up with everyone chasing the person with the ball around the field.

"Guys, guys, stop," Bruce called from where he was sitting on the picnic blanket and watching them in fond exasperation, "guys, just eat the food!" 

Eating the food proved to be more problematic than it sounded, though. Sam, Bucky and Steve really enjoyed the whole feel of it, sitting in the grass, munching on sandwiches and generally being at one with nature, but the others didn't agree.

"Just because you guys are perfect little boyscouts, it doesn't mean the rest of us are!" Tony complained, resting on his haunches on the picnic blanket and looking about him warily for insects trying to get into the food. 

"Why can't we just eat inside?" asked Wanda, perfectly reasonably, "What is this point in this?"

"I must agree with Scarlet Witch and Iron Man, Captain. What are we doing in the middle of nowhere? How is this practical?" Vision chimed in.

Sam sighed. "It's not meant to be practical, it's meant to be fun and different. So just shut your mouth and enjoy it!" Steve and Bruce agreed.

Peter would probably have argued with this, but he was too busy frantically checking for, and subsequently avoiding, any sign of an insect within three feet of him.

"Why don't you just go climb a tree or something?" Pietro groaned, having had enough of Peter screaming whenever something moved, especially since half the time someone had to explain to him that the wind did sometimes make blades of grass wave, he couldn't run away every time the grass swayed. Peter, surprisingly, saw the wisdom in his words, which didn't happen often. He grabbed a sandwich and scampered up a nearby tree, hidden from sight by the leaves.

"I might go and join him," Tony muttered, glancing up at the tree as he tried to calculate how much exercise that would involve. Steve raised his eyebrows in a way that showcased his complete lack of faith in Tony's ability to care enough about anything to haul himself up a tree, but he disagreed just in case, because you never knew what stupid thing Tony was going to do next.

"No, you won't," he grinned, "now eat this," handing Tony a sandwich, at which Natasha was going to say that he probably wouldn't eat it now because he was slightly OCD like that, before Tony rolled his eyes and took a large bite out of it, "and shut up." 

With Tony appeased and Peter happily up his tree, almost ten minutes passed with no incidences. Just as it was beginning to be thought that this picnic may actually have been a success, there was a series of loud bangs, followed by a loud thump and a pained cry of, "Fuck!" from Parker.

Before Tony could even finish the obligatory, "What the shit," that just had to be said whenever you hear your teammate mysteriously fall out of a tree, Pietro was up and had vanished in the direction of the cursing. The team listened out for any shouts of 'he's horribly injured' or 'he's been eaten by bugs' that may come their way, but when nothing came they merely shrugged and returned to their food.

 

Meanwhile, Pietro was staring down at Peter, lying in a heap on the floor.

"What happened?" he sighed, unsure if he wanted to know. Peter did some kind of move which involved jumping up from the floor, brushing himself off desperately in a search for bugs, before remembering that he had just fallen out of a tree and nearly collapsing again.

"There were spiders," he moaned as Pietro stopped him from falling over.

"I can see that," Pietro muttered in response.

"What?"

"Nothing, I, er -" Pietro brushed a hand over Peter's hair, trying to rid it of the spider without being overly obvious.

The problem was, however, that the only other reason he would start stroking Peter's hair would be in a very homosexual gesture, so Peter pulled away in faint confusion before he could get rid of the spider. In that time, he felt the spider moving about on his head.

"Shit! Shit! Fuck! Get it off!" he yelled, staggering backwards as he dramatically shook his head and tripped over a tree root, landing on the floor for the second time in five minutes and hitting his head on a tree as he went. "Is it gone?" he asked, his only concern after falling out of a tree and then over one being the tiny spider that Pietro flicked out of his hair.

"Yes Peter, it's gone." Peter seemed to give up on everything as he sat against the tree, whining, and Pietro thought better than to tell him about the bugs scurrying on the bark above him. "Are you okay?"

"Leave me here to die," Peter continued to gripe.

"Peter..."

"My head hurts."

"I'm not your fucking nurse," Pietro checked his head quickly for blood, and, when there was none, said, "it's not bleeding so it can't be that bad, come on." He held out a hand for Peter to get up.

"You're a terrible doctor," Peter observed as he accepted the hand and limped back to the others. When they got there, he ignored all questions about what had happened, choosing instead to flop on the blanket and announce, "I hate nature."

 

With no-one dead or dying, the picnic got slightly boring, which Pietro took as his cue to liven it up. He found the greatest amusement in stealing everyone's sandwiches a moment before they were about to bite into them, and hiding them all somewhere. Thor quickly caught on to his tactic, and decided that the only possible counter was to shove all of the food in his mouth before Pietro could even think about getting them.

"Food tastes so much more delicious when it is enjoyed outdoors with friends, do you not think?" Thor exclaimed, having eaten about half of the food that had been brought along already and looking to nearly finish it off. He seemed so happy that no-one had the heart to ask him to stop, just let him eat the food. 

Clint and Natasha, got up to wander through the woods, under the pretense that they were 'still hungry and were going to hunt'. What they were planning on hunting in the fields, ants or earwigs maybe, went unasked, although the team did their level best to act like they believed the cover story, if only so that they didn't get attacked by either Natasha or Clint.

"Look what we caught!" Clint called when they emerged, slightly breathless from 'the hunt'. They were each holding piles of sandwiches, the ones that Pietro had stolen and clearly decided would be safest in the woods.

"Ah yes, the elusive sandwiches!" Tony replied, "But they're meant to be so fast, how did you possibly catch them?" 

"I am a master archer, Mr Stark." Clint puffed up his chest in mock righteous anger, returning everyone's sandwiches to them so that they could finish off the picnic. Pietro stealing them was no longer a problem, seeing as both Wanda and Peter had fallen asleep on him, and he was half asleep himself.

The ride back was much quieter than the ride there, a mixture of half of them being asleep and no-one complaining about not wanting to be there.

"Where did you -" Coulson saw the picnic basket on Cap's arm and the grass stains on everybody's shirts and thought better of asking, allowing them to enter the tower as he shook his head and left, muttering about not being paid enough to deal with superheroes that went AWOL to go on picnics.

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing as I'm planning on doing a lot more of these, if anybody wants to give me any suggestions for anything the Avengers could do, I'll do them. As you've seen, I produce these really fast, and have no problem with ridiculous scenarios, so literally anything you want is fine by me, just comment or email me kitty122011@hotmail.co.uk


End file.
